Av

"Woe unto the heart that is not broken,” wrote Aryeh Cohen. 

No one wants pain but no one can avoid it.   

People let us down.  

Our bodies are instruments where the parts wear out and sometimes are defective.  

The things that we expect to make our lives simpler often do the opposite.  

When life does not cooperate with our expectations it is frustrating, to say the least.

 

As we pass through time we amass a wide array of these broken experiences.  Learning how to manage life’s disappointments is wisdom.   Wisdom does not come from books or what others teach us, it what we learn as the wheel of life turns.

 

This month on August 13 is Tisha B’Av, on the Jewish calendar.  Tisha B’Av is a day of historic tragedy.  It marks when our ancestors the Children of Israel, were sentenced o forty years of aimless wandering in the desert. It is the day that marks the destruction of the both the first and second Temples in Jerusalem.  It is also the anniversary of when Betar, the last breath of Jewish independence for 2,000 years fell.  Jews all over the worlds read Jeremiah’s Lamentations and fast.

 

Why?  Why bother to remember an historic event that has no bearing on our life?

 

A story:

 

One Tisha B’Av Napoleon rode by a synagogue in small town and noticed Jews sitting on the ground and wailing bitterly.

“Why are the Jews crying?” he asked a bystander.

“They are mourning their land which was destroyed about two thousand years ago,” he was informed.

These words deeply impressed Napoleon.  “A nation that can mourn over the destruction and loss of their land which occurred two thousand years ago,” he exclaimed, “Such a people will never perish.  They may be certain they will survive and that their land will eventually be restored to them.”

 

Our memory - both individual and collective – takes our pain and uses it to become wiser in our years.  Just as a scab started out as a bleed, it becomes much more resilient when new skin forms over it.  But, and this is crucial, a scar remains to remind us and teach us how to enrich our lives through the panoply of our experiences, good and bad.

Nourishment

 The key to living is to feed and nourish the body. The key to growth is to feed and nourish the soul.The growth that is required by the soul is not about finding voices that agree with what we already know, our preconceived opinions. Instead, it is about being open to new possibilities, including the fact that we may be wrong.

George Washington wrote, "it is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." Why would the first president of this nation make that claim? Perhaps he meant to suggest that we need to always be vigilant to the possibility that we may be in error. A true guide is one that challenges our beliefs. That guide has the potential to move us out of complacency and into real growth. That is why scholar and philosopher Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel said that ‘the Bible is meant to be our critic, not we its critic.’ With an open heart and mind we are supposed to open up the holy Torah daily and find signs that are meant to challenge, uplift and afford us the possibility of understanding ourselves and the world better.

"Do not make up your own interpretation and laws of Judaism or else you open the door to great sin and ultimate destruction into the cosmos." Introduction to the zohar
Open your heart and mind.

God's Voice

Gifts are something received, usually from another person.  Yet, there are times when gifts are received from Above or from within, not from a person. The origin of the gift does not diminish or change its value. In fact, it will often enhance it.

In conversations throughout my career with people going through turmoil I will often ask whether someone believes that God has a plan for them. After they briefly reflect, the answer I usually get back is “no,” they do not believe in destiny.  God does not steer them through life.  They choose their own path and choices.

“What if,” I urge them on, “What if God whispers into your mind options that exceed your present mindset?  What if ideas come randomly that tell you that there is more to life than what you know now?  It is then becomes your choice to follow the voice or take the path that is most familiar.” In other words, I suggest, God has a plan for us but we can turn aside from it or remain indifferent to the directional.

Pain and the fear of pain is one of the strongest impediments to change and growth.  Those who can reinvent themselves or change life’s direction may find deep reservoirs of creativity and strengths they never knew existed.

Renoir uttered as he struggled with painful arthritic fingers, “The pain passes, the beauty remains.”

The artist would not be deterred from his passion despite the pain.  For Renoir, the gift needed to be released.  Nothing would stand in his way of making artistic masterpieces.

That is our challenge.  Can we muster the internal fortitude to live up to God’s expectation of us and our potential?

The Talmud declares, “Growth or death.”  Of course they do not mean to say that if we do not grow we actually die physically; but we do kill our potential.

Once, when we were young, we were fearless. Challenges were taken to be opportunities.  Then with age, we learned to take fewer challenges to avoid failure.  This decision limited our ability to learn and transcend what we are.  Of course that does not mean that we should immediately take up skydiving.  Or does it?  In any event, the risk of failure is worth the price paid as it results in a more meaningful life.

In “Living with Loss,” the authors declare, “Ultimately whether grief destroys you or strengthens you is something only you can decide.”  I suspect that throughout our lives, God gently encourages us to move out of our comfort zone – to learn new skills, take a Hebrew class, become an adult Bar Mitzvah, travel to Israel, stand up and speak out for our beliefs, sing more loudly, take up dance lessons, enroll in an on-line course in Jewish thought, take the class in creative art that you’ve always dreamed of…   Listen to the whisper of the Voice.

It is Here

“Are you saying that Judaism is devoid of spirituality?! You must be another one of those mayvins who graduated cum laude out of Hebrew school and since then have not gone beyond a pre-pubescent's level of understanding of our heritage. Sit. Sit down next to me. Come here, I will not bite your head off. But listen. Really listen.

”Some of the world’s religions pride themselves on deep spirituality. They teach their followers to reach down into the depths of their psyche and draw out the best. Usually they follow the form that the deeper you go into yourself, the greater power you will discover. So they impart mantras and train acolytes in paths of super-consciousness. Wonderful.

"Everyone could benefit from using those normally dorm right brain cells and discovering the powers that we all possess but seldom utilize.

“Other religions emphasize sharing and comradeship. They draw people into the fraternal like structures remember support one another. In times of grief they visit the bereft. In moments of joy they celebrate with one another. I see you nodding your head. Yes, this too is wonderful.

"Some preeminent religions are attractive precisely because they seem to be universally observed. When the whole culture appears to be wrapped up in a single holiday and we remain of the few that light sickly looking candles on Hanukkah, we begin to ask ‘who is right?’

“There are many, many more. Each religion, culture and organization has its own merits based upon where the individual is coming from. Just as there is no shortage of different kinds of people, there is no dearth of possibilities for the religious explorer.

"Listen, my friend. You know about this; that is why I am talking to now. But did you realize that there is a Jewish mediation?  That we have been practicing this art for centuries? Perhaps you were also not aware that God still speaks?

”If you learn some of this that perhaps I can introduce you to the secret society of Jewish mystics. They too, have been around for a very long time. Perhaps, my friend, you were also unaware of the reams upon reams of ancient texts that that detail Jewish law, lore and practice.  And maybe, if the interest since you, we can get together and share some of the most magnificent tails in storage the world has ever known. Judaism is soon as the world’s best kept secret. And that is a shame. Because it also is the secret to you.

”Is that all?” you ask. “Of course not. I was just giving a moment to digest enormity of the situation.

“The zodiac. Did you know that the zodiac is based on the Jewish calendar? What about healing? What do you looking for the kind dispatch my doctors of the flash four of the show, it can be found here. Thousands of years of accumulated knowledge herbs and curious, amulets and miraculous recovery’s. Philosophy? Do you prefer Aristotelian (Rambam adored his approach to logic) or Helelian (take a look at Solomon Maimon)?  Critical scholarship?  Mathematics?  Aphorisms?  Parables?  Natural sciences?  Physical sciences?

“Look at this rich tradition hidden from view in bulging basements full of memories and attics overflowing with old world knowledge and scholarly pursuits. There it has laid away fast, awaiting the moment of discovery, waiting for you.  The possibilities of new worlds unfolding before your eyes; the wisdom of martyrs and saints yearning to have their stories told are ready. Spanning the epochs are magnificent tales from countless generations. There were travellers throughout the primitive world hundreds of years before Columbus was even conceived. Hoary prayers and lofty incantations wait your discovery.

“Somewhere in the loft of an uncaring relative lay books, holy books. In some dusty alcove, showcase or a moldy attic chest sits a Menorah aching for life it once new reuniting it with God. It waits for the sacred moment when it shall once more touch the portals of the Holy One’s chamber.

“When you are ready to come home all this will be waiting.  And much, much more.”

To Be a Jew

An oft-quoted tale from our past concerns a rather terse but highly informative exchange.  Two millennia ago a hutzpadik man approached Shammai, a great and learned teacher, and said,
"Convert me on condition that you teach me the entire Torah while I am standing on one foot."

Shammai pushed him away with the builder's measuring stick in his hand.  That man then went to Hillel who converted him. Hillel said to him, "That which is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor. This is the entire Torah; the rest is commentary.  Now go and learn."
-Talmud, Shabbat 31 A

Who could disagree with such a gentle approach?

Many scholars have repeated Hillel's statement in various forms. Consider Immanuel Kant's Categorical Imperative, the first principle of ethics which states, "I ought never to act except in such a way that my action should become a universal law." The Golden Rule also emphasizes the same concept, "Do unto to others as you have done to you."

Yet Hillel's comment differs in one major way.  His response to the man was not that he simply refrain from hurting people but that this action is the beginning of becoming a Jew. In other words, a Jew stands for kindness as the basis for being Jewish. The fact that Hillel instructs the would-be convert to then go and become absorbed in learning is instructive.

Hillel taught the irritating man how to be a mensch, but that is not enough. People cannot remain forever balanced precariously on one foot. We must venture out and learn the rest of Torah and what God expects from us. That is how we become wholly Jewish.

A Rabbi's Role

A bit of nostalgia: My first sermon (Beverly, Norwood, N. Adams).

Millennia ago Moshe rabbenu descended from Mt. Sinai after meeting HaKadosh Baruch Hu.  With him, he carried the Tablets of Stone, luchot, engraved by the finger of God.  Moshe was not just the FTD man of the ancient world; he was much more.  And the item which he carried were far more precious than anything the world had ever seen.  Moshe was acting as more than an errand boy delivery a thing from point A to point B.  He was an expounder.

After the Revelation Moshe’s task was to teach masses of Israelites the meaning of the words God scribed.  That is why we call him Moshe rabbeinu, our teacher, our rabbi.

In Mishnaic times, roughly 1900 years ago those who taught the Law that Moshe brought and taught, were given the title of Rabbi, meaning “my teacher.”  

This is what a personal teacher is, a rabbi, a mentor.  And like all other teachers a rabbi has concrete priorities and techniques that have been handed down through the generations.  Like the “old school” they can be reduced to the three R’s; reading, righting and ‘rithmatic.

In Great Britain, where I went to college, people asked what I studied in rabbinical school.  I answered, “Political Science.”  When I asked what they studied they responded something like, “I read English.”  “Yes, I understand,” I would then say.  “But what did you do?”

“I read English,” they insisted.

When students in England go to university they “read” a subject.  We have a  “major.”  A “reader” is a more descriptive title since it implies that learning is a process, not a destination.

In this regard the role of the rabbi is much the same as a reader.  One must be an avid reader, gobbling up new ideas and nuances alongside ancient notions. A rabbi needs to be a perpetual student.  As the Mishna observes, d’la mosif yasif.  Loosely translated it means, “Use it or lose it.”  (It literally means, “One who does not add, loses”).

A rabbi is a reader because there are only so many message one person can deliver and teach without enlarging their sphere of knowledge.

I hope as the years pass what I say and believe will change as I grow and mature.  With ongoing expansion of knowledge I can share newfound insights with my community.  After all, for us learning has been the bedrock of our people for thousands of years.  Many would argue that it has been the breath, which has kept us vibrant and alive through the long centuries.  I agree.  Learning for the sake of growth.

What does good preaching and teaching sound like?  It ought to grab and secure the attention of the listener along with exercising the imagination bringing it towards thoughts that are familiar towards ones that have not been considered.  It is also the responsibility of the preacher to involve the community in the joy of the learning process, growing, blossoming within the context of our tradition.

This is where the individual reader moves from the inward to the collective, the whole.  In life there are always shades, varying perspectives on all issues.  That is because no two situations are exactly alike.  Life is not black and white, it is gray.  My task to to show how all things can been seen in a different light too through the lenses of generation upon generation of learned scholars and rabbis.  Hindsight is only wonderful when it illuminates the present.

That is why I am a reader.

This leads me to the second crucial role of a rabbi, that of righting (or correcting).

There is an old Hasidic tale of a man who taught his students that something can be learned form everything, from the most profound to the most mundane.  “Even man’s inventions can instruct,” said the master.

“What can be learned from a train?” asked one inquisitive student.

“That in a single moment you can miss something critical.”

“And from a telegraph?”

“That every word is counted and changed.”

“And what can be learned from a telephone?”

“That what we say here is heard elsewhere.”

“Righting” involves taking a situation out of its visual context in the moment, where judgments are made instantaneously and look at the context and event through the lens of Jewish ideals. 

“Righting” is when we speak to a family or person about the merits of keeping a kosher home.  Or speaking against insider trading or prejudices.  Righting means talking with people, not “reading” them, and attempting to have an impact by throwing a Jewish perspective on the matter.

There are two avenues of “righting.”  The first is as a group, a community, a congregation or gathering.  The second is through personal contact; being an influence by example and personal connection.

Finally there is the arithmetic.  This is the most trying of all.  As the late great Rabbi Milton Steinberg once said of his profession, “You suffer from a sense of defeat and frustration.  You may find yourself unable to effect your ends, but you will never feel that what you are doing in not worthwhile.”

Arithmetic is the end product, the hope desire that we might effect real, meaningful change.  It is the sum of a rabbi’s lifelong efforts.

I cannot possibly hope to reach everyone, to have an effect on the whole.  But, in the final analysis, the arithmetic is the judge of the success of a rabbi.

A farmer has to be intimately familiar with his implements, a hoe and plough.  A rabbi must be equipped with the tool of reading, righting, and arithmetic.

This is the message that I bring today.  Reading is my initiative and responsibility.  Righting is our joint task.  Arithmetic is our heritage and our future.

The Fruit of Life

A parable: Once there was a king who held daily court for his people.  They would line up for a chance to see the monarch, or better, to have a word with him.

One poor man showed up regularly.  In his rags he would present the king with a fruit on each occasion. The king graciously accepted it and then threw it aside, seeing the source it came from.

For ten years the beggar showed up at the palace and presented his gift.  One day, a monkey escaped from its cage, grabbed the proffered fruit, and took a bite.  Squealing in pain the monkey threw it aside, revealing a precious gem inside.

There is so much that we come to know as we age.  In the first years of life we watched our children scrape their knees, cry and then get up and be more careful.  When young we learned many things but that knowledge was a different kind of knowledge we possessed we grew in age. 

A young person quickly gains the know-how to navigate through interpersonal issues.  Then comes wrestling with learning how to recognize a friend from a potential partner changing past paradigms.  We learn how to achieve our financial goals, which flux with time, and live with someone who has different ideals from us.  Parenting brings new understanding.  Old age presents its challenges and new understanding comes along replacing the old.

Life is not linear.  It has bumps and jolts and lots of u-turns. 

When the curtain of life is about to draw to a close where are we?  What have we learned in all the decades of wanderlust?  The process of ongoing learning, unlearning and re-learning?  Bumps and diversions? 

Does anything stand inviolate at the beginning and end of time?

Yes.  The word for this in Hebrew in emet.  Emet means truth. It is unchanging.  Emet stands and alone remains at the end of the day and at the end of a life.

What you knew as a child is what you know now: 

Life is for giving and receiving love.

-The world is a giant playground filled with weird smells, sounds and fabulous colors.  It is meant to play in.  Use.  Don't uproot. 

-There are dangers lurking everywhere.  It pays to stick together. 

-Nothing should be wasted because it is so much more fun to repurpose. Ask any four-year old what to do with an empty carton.  Or ask any eighty-four year old why she does not throw out her old things.  You never know.

-Share with those that do not have.  What are you going to do?  Have it interred with you? Leave it to a family that will glare at each other in court over what remains?

Above is a distillation of the Ten Commandments.  Emet.

About the only thing missing is G-d.  And of course, where we began is where we end.  The first prayer we learned was the Sh’ma.  It will be the last words out of our mouths before our soul ascends.

So eat the fruit.  Enjoy but bite slowly in case there is a ruby hiding inside and more than likely, there will be.

The Lab Where Creation Takes Place

     A little boy was watching his father, a Rabbi, prepare a sermon. “How do you know what to write?” he asked. The Rabbi said, “Well, after I think for a while, God tells me what to write.”

         The boy was quiet for a moment before saying, “Then why do you keep crossing out so much?”

     Privately, it is easy to make corrections: nobody has to see the original text.  We can write and rewrite the wording.  Which is fine. Being creative requires imagination with lots of room for experimentation and errors.  While I am sure that God helps, we have a definite proclivity  for making errors. Thus, the scratch-outs.

     Now, the Talmud used to be a simple, terse text of Jewish Law and Lore. With so much of it needing clarification, great Sages would scribble notes, questions, answers and diagrams in the margins (used to be that paper was scarce). That’s how the marginal commentaries on each folio of the Talmud was born.  Some printer saw the scribbling and had them inserted as permanent marginal notes. That is how Rashi’s commentary (among others) has come to be found in the Talmud.

     Mistakes are an inevitable and part of process. Mistakes means that you are trying. They are living proof of personal growth. A colleague, Harold Kushner, said “people do  not learn  from their successes. They grow from their failures.”  The scratches in the margins.

If it were not for the marginal notes of Rashi and others the Talmud would not be the Talmud.  So too, it is with all scientific studies.  They take place in labs where failures always exceed successes.