Own It

I have a question to ask.

In some form, the question has been forming in my mind for a very long time. Just now it seems to be taking enough shape so that I am finally able to give it a voice. Let me begin by sharing with you to brief vignettes.

Long ago, I was engaged in interviewing at different Synagogues around the country. For the purposes of becoming their rabbi, the congregation and I needed to first agree that there was a mutual interest. I would be invited to a visit with them and answer assorted questions. A standard question that each “Rabbi Search Committee” would ask, “Will you eat in a congregant’s home if they do not keep kosher?”  Hmmm.  The question was posed, and my mind would swing into gear; for underlying each question is a subtle dilemma for the congregation. Surely, they would not ask about kashrut if it were a meaningless issue. Therefore, it was reasonable to assume that there was some recent event in the committee or Congregation’s mind or experience that compelled them to pose the question.  Furthermore (talk about crossing a rabbi’s eyes!) it can be then inferred that there was some infidel around the table who does not actually keep it kosher home and will either cringe or easily jump on any suggestion that he or she is any less valid citizen of the community when the rabbi admits that he will not eat at this fellow’s table.

Second vignette: Time ago, shortly after I was ordained, I was invited to a Christian colleague’s home for dinner in my first pulpit. Together with my wife and our children and we went over to their home on a Sunday afternoon to join them for a lively evening. Now, you must be anticipating the problem: where was the food coming from? After all, can hardly be expected of a Christian ministry to keep the laws of kashrut. “Don’t tell me the rabbi has double standards!”

As it happens, this minister and his wife purchased glass plates, new utensils, shopped for supervised foods at the local market, called me with some questions about the permissibility of fish purchased at that market and excitedly inquired about whether it was correct to cook the food in their non-kosher oven. After weeks of preparation, fact-finding, and research at the library we were invited to sit at the table with a tacit validation of our Jewish customs.

Why is it that Jews seem to be undeterred in their own lack of observance, demanding of the rabbi that he recognize the lowest standard of practice as legitimate?  Call Christians will weather brimstone to preserve the integrity of our traditions and mitzvot?

Now to my opening question, why? Why are we so hard on Jews who observe their faith, Judaism? I know many observant members of lots of Conservative communities or often intimidated and made to feel backward and somehow in validated by the friends whose own practices are lax.

There are 613 mitzvot in the Torah-many more and ancillary writings. No human being can ever compass all of these. They are too many and too diverse to hope to fully bridge the chasm between observance and mitzvah. Yet we must attempt. He as Theodore Herzl put it, “Even though it may lie beyond us we have no right to stop trying.”

It is my guess that many of us have ceased trying.

Just as maturation is lifelong processes that cannot be condensed or minimized, Jewish growth must also be on a continuum. The moment we attempt to force environment to fit into our preconceived mold is when we stop growing. When Judaism is made to conform to our existing mold of practice, we atrophy. Imagine doing that in our business: when we are satisfied with sales, we keep everything maintained exactly the same for the rest of our career.  Such a business model is ridiculous. “Where there is no development,” says the Talmud, “there is regression.” No one stands still. No human being stops studying, analyzing, learning and retaining his mental acumen. In life, we either gain or lose.

If Jewish observance is too daunting, we must make no attempt to negate Jewish practice or reduce it to a lower level.  We would do such a thing with our children: we demand continual advancement for them. Why should we expect anything less of ourselves?

Let me put it another way, if we are in the same place that we were five years ago in our Jewish commitment and observance, is that not a betrayal of the best we have to offer and be?  Is that not shortchanging our ability to grow and learn?

Our religion is a gift to the world that keeps on giving, but only if first we take it and own it.