Honors

Question: What if I do not feel “good enough” to be called for an honor at services?  Should I accept?  And if I refuse, isn’t that a bad thing to do?

Your question is good...and complex.  I am glad that you are wrestling with the issue.  Only through such striving does the truth emerge.

Let’s start with a simpler example, a minyan or quorum.  As you know we need ten Jewish adults to make a prayer quorum.  On the one hand, being counted in a minyan involves counting people who are both Jewish and capable.  In regard to that second issue (being capable), one who is counted in a minyan must be able to answer “amen” to a beracha.  So, in traditional Judaism what about women who are not counted?  What about children who know the right thing to do?  What about the mentally challenged? You may be aware for example, of the tradition of opening the Ark with only nine people...or the other tradition of counting a minor holding a humash....

It is not clear at all what the ultimate acceptable parameters of a minyan are.  The primary question at the center of a minyan belong to the field of "hiuv", that is 'responsibility'.  Who is commanded to do a mitzvah is what matters most.   If women are commanded to do "time-bound" mitzvoth (or any other sort), there is no question of their being counted in the minyan.  If they are not commanded they should not be counted in the minyan.

You will want to counter this argument by saying that there are many men who do not feel personally commanded to observe the mitzvot.  They, instead of feeling commanded feel entitled to pick which mitzvah they want to observe ...if any at all...and which they choose to ignore.  One response to that question is that everyone to a greater or lesser extent does this.  The other response is to ask whether we wish to enfranchise all women to become “hiuv” and thereby create a whole other caste of potential sinners.

There are instances of great historical rabbis counting women in minyans for such events a reading the megillah.

The issue of aliya is not so clear.  While it may be argued that a woman cannot accept the Kohen or Levi aliya because of problems with patrimony, the balance of them does require that the person not reflect poorly on the community.  Kavod hatsibbur – respect for the congregation - is a very important mitzvah!  There are communities where the tradition a minor can chant haftara and therefore take the maftir aliya.  They are most certainly not “hiuv” as they are not yet Bar Mitzvah.  There are synagogues in Israel where a child carries a scroll of the haftara in the Torah procession.