Words

Words carry enough weight to cause a war. 

Can you imagine that?  What a single person says could send men hurtling to their deaths and reduce nations to rubble.

Long ago, a man sent his servant to invite Kamza to attend a special, elite party.  The messenger delivered the invitation to Bar Kamza by mistake, a man despised by the party-giver.  Bar Kamza was excited to be included and arrived with great anticipation.  When the host saw Bar Kamza he shouted at him and shamed him, demanding that the offensive Bar Kamza leave immediately.  He was ejected in front of the community.  Bar Kamza got revenge by bringing in the Roman legions with lies about the aristocracy and, in the end, brought about the Fall of Jerusalem and the Destruction and terrible exile that followed.

Words can lay waste to an intact family.  In the aftermath of a few ill-chosen words a loving family can become a battleground. 

Think of Joseph who, by carelessly speaking to his brothers, ultimately caused his people to endure harsh slavery for generations.  Had Joseph kept his dreams to himself, the brothers would not have hated him, thrown him in a pit, sold him to Egyptians, and later found themselves begging for food at his doorstep.

Think of family celebrations and mark who is absent because of past words spoken too carelessly.  Brothers do not speak.  Children are estranged.  Connections are severed all because of words.

Perhaps that is why many people resort to writing e-mails, sending texts, and communicating innocuously.  A couple of thousand years ago there was a proto-postal service in Rome; it came in the form of a dispatched messenger.  This ancient service was called, “cursus publicus,” probably because it was a poor substitute for understanding the tone and gestures that accompanied the words.

Abraham Lincoln understood words and the power they carry.  When he became angry with someone he would sit at his desk and write a heated letter.  Lincoln would then tuck it into a drawer in the desk.  Later, in the calmness of letting time pass and his heat cool, Lincoln would take out the letter and write on it, “never sent, never signed."

Hear the words of the ancient scholar Avtalyon,  “Be mindful of your words lest you be punished with exile, and you will be exiled to the place of the bad waters, and your students who come after you will drink, and the name of heaven will be profaned.”  -Avot 1:11

            Words have the power to generate and regenerate.  Not only do words affect the listener, they are passed on to others in what may be a never-ending journey of blessing or toxicity.

One of the great benefits of Freud and the great tradition of psychoanalysis has been the ability to stir the unconscious by verbalizing our feelings.  One of the negative consequences of this same proficiency is that it does not always make us more skilled in being thoughtful to others.

Another Sage, Shimon ben Gamliel, said, “Whoever is profuse of words will eventually bring about sin.”  Enough said.