Words

Dr. Bernard Lown, Nobel Prize winner, tells of a middle-aged librarian, Mrs. S, who had difficulty with her heart, specifically the tricuspid valve.  The chief cardiologist of Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston came in to the patient’s room and said to other attendant physicians, “This woman has TS.”  He then turned and left the room.

As soon as he walked out of the room, Dr. Lown noticed that S she looked frightened; her breathing rate accelerated.  Not long after the woman’s lungs filled with fluid.

Bernard Lown looked at S and asked her why she looked upset.  

“Because he said I was TS.  I know that is medical jargon for a terminal situation.”

Dr. Lown explained that was not what the physician meant. For him, TS stood for “tricuspid stenosis”

The words of Dr. Lown didn’t help.  Later that same day Mrs. S died of heart failure.

Words are only beginning.  Like seeds or viruses they quickly embed themselves, germinate and then creep & grow until consume us all.

What difference does it make when a car races by, its windows rolled down and foul words yelled at passersby, maybe you.  They did not assault anyone.  They committed no crime. And yet. Would you be surprised if they spoiled someone’s day?  Would you find it incredulous if that hurt person then took it out on someone else?

Swastikas painted on a local synagogue are a malicious act of property destruction.  Charlottesville, New York, Colorado Springs, Chicago, Madison are a few of the communities that experienced this defacement in the past couple of months.  Does it really mean anything?  Just a scrubbing, a new coat of paint and all is remedied.  Right?  What about the vulnerable members who feel like they have been violated?  The staid and contented folks who lived there for decades who suddenly wonder, “Who hates me?  And Why?”

           James Bird, a black man was tied, attached to truck and dragged until died.  This comes well before al the recent acts of violence.  Eric Garner and the Emanuel Nine?  Their families still wonder, “Where did this hate come from?”

Countless churches across the Mideast have been burned.

Remember Matthew Shepherd?  Shepherd, of Laramie, Wyoming, was brutalized then crucified on fence.  An item not often cited in the press was that his face was thickly caked with mud.  And still through that raked earth could be seen jagged slivers running from his eyes to his chin.  Matthew Shepherd cried as he slowly died.

You will wonder “why”?  Why do people do such terrible things to one another?  Do they not realize the magnitude of pain and horror they inflict?

I suspect not.  You see, it all begins with words, words misused, misspent and abused.  Those words then convert into small acts of nastiness that inflict great psychic pain. It begins with words, innocuous things that are only vapor and as I often ask, how many people did Hitler personally kill?   All he did was speak.

            Good people must never be silent.  When you hear someone defaming a person or group, tell him or her they are birthing hatred.  Even something as innocuous as speaking ill of another (lashon ha-ra) is enough to cause dangerous lesions that can infect and kill. 

It all begins at home. 

Advice to Graduates

           Shimon, the son of Gamliel, thought hard.  When asked this question he could not help but search through years of lessons, discussions, and arguments.  “Sometimes,” he reflected, “they embraced each other; other times they stormed off in a discernable anger.”  He saw the greatest scholars of all time scratch their heads in wonder.  And now here he was being asked the question, “What is the greatest truth that you know?”

Shimon understood, after all the learning he had been exposed to, that this was the hardest question he had ever been asked.  Slowly, Shimon opened his mouth.  “All my life I have been raised with Sages.  What I have learned is that the best to learning the truth is silence.  When I am quiet and do not rush to make others hear my opinions I am free to hear the full story first.”

They nodded, listening.

Shimon drew in a breath and continued.  “Practice is more important than study.  After all, you can memorize facts galore but what a person does is more important than what he knows or says.”

A cool breeze blew through the orchard as if agreeing with the young scholar.  No sound was heard as Shimon continued.  “One who speaks too much brings sin into the world.”

Shimon, son of Gamliel, really lived in Israel two thousand years ago.  These words were actually spoken by him.  He said three things that I want the graduating class of any time or year to absorb.

1. Listen.  Do not make snap judgements.  If you are too busy speaking or contemplating what you will next say your mind will not be open to what is being uttered by others.

2. Be good.  Do good.  Words are cheap.  They can be spewed forth and be meaningless.  If you really want to make a difference in the world, follow the mitzvot.  Be a Jew.

3. If you prattle on and just let words gush out, sooner (rather than later), you will hurt someone.  It is so easy to wound another by careless words.  Think first.

Now make these words and truths yours and we will always be proud of you.

Rabbi Jonathan Case

Healed

One of my favorite expressions: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”  It’s from the Talmud. 

Words develop a life of their own.  Once uttered, they become infused with all kinds of real and imagined energy.  They change people.  For life. 

Also, as everyone has experienced, once spoken…there is no taking words back.  Apologize as much as we want, the damage is done and, as the Good Book Proverbs says, “there is no way to make straight the crooked.”

                                                   *

Most of us, thank God, will never be called upon to kill another being.  Reading the account of one Ranger thrown into Mogadishu, Somalia during the US attempt to arrest warlord Mohammed Farrah Adid, some twenty years ago, the solider said, “When war starts, a solider wants like *!@!!  to be there, but once he’s there, he wants like !@!!. to come home.” 

Many of us may imagine ourselves to be a Schwartzennegger, blasting away all the bad guys.  To be truthful, we are on the battlefield every day of our lives –rushing to be the first to the bank teller, to be first in line at the checkout, to be in front of one more car on Forest Drive, to make more money than the next guy.  The excitement and the adrenaline produced by such encounters is the stuff of imagination, not reality.  In fact, it is as painful to be the one cut off, as it is to be the one doing the cutting off. 

The wars we usually wage are where we feel ourselves pitted against the person next to us.  Our weapon of choice?  Words.  They level opponents.  Reduce them to sniveling creatures.  They exaggerate and weigh mightily against the enemy while reinforcing us.

Inasmuch as words raze and destroy, they are also great healers, givers of life. 

Recently sent to me was the following exchange:

As I ate breakfast one morning, I overheard two oncologists conversing.  One complained bitterly, “You know, Bob, I just don’t understand it.  We use the same drugs, the same dosage, the same schedule and the same entry criteria.  Yet I got a 22 percent response and you got a 74 percent.  That’s unheard of for metastatic cancer.  How do you do it?”

His colleague replied, “We’re both using Etoposide, Platinum, Oncovin and Hydroxurea.  You call your EPOH.  I tell my patients I’m giving them HOPE.  As dismal as the statistics are, I emphasize that we have a chance.”

Life, regeneration and love are all waiting to be given voice.

H O P E

One of my favorite expressions: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”  It’s from the Talmud.  Words develop a life of their own.  Once uttered, they become infused with all kinds of real and imagined energy.  They change people.  For life.  Also, as everyone has experienced, once spoken…there is no taking words back.  Apologize as much as we want, the damage is done and, as the Good Book says, “there is no way to make straight the crooked.”

Most of us, thank God, will never be called upon to kill another being.  Reading the account of one Ranger thrown into Mogadishu, Somalia during the US attempt to arrest warlord Mohammed Farrah Adid, decades ago, the solider said, “When war starts, a solider wants like *!@!!  to be there, but once he’s there, he wants like !@!!. to come home.” 

Many of us may imagine ourselves to be a Schwartzennegger, blasting away all the bad guys.  To be truthful, we are on the battlefield every day of our lives –rushing to be the first to the bank teller, to be first in line at the checkout, to be in front of one more car on the highway, to make more money than the next guy.  The excitement and the adrenaline produced by such encounters is the stuff of imagination, not reality.  In fact, it is as painful to be the one cut off as it is to be the one doing the cutting off. 

The wars we usually wage are where we feel ourselves pitted against the person next to us.  Our weapon of choice?  Words.  They level opponents.  Reduce them to sniveling creatures.  They exaggerate and weigh mightily against the enemy while reinforcing us.

Inasmuch as words raze and destroy, they are also great healers, givers of life.  Recently sent to me was the following exchange:

As I ate breakfast one morning, I overheard two oncologists conversing.  One complained bitterly, “You know, Bob, I just don’t understand it.  We use the same drugs, the same dosage, the same schedule and the same entry criteria.  Yet I got a 22 percent response and you got a 74 percent.  That’s unheard of for metastatic cancer.  How do you do it?”

His colleague replied, “We’re both using Etoposide, Platinum, Oncovin and Hydroxurea.  You call your EPOH.  I tell my patients I’m giving them HOPE.  As dismal as the statistics are, I emphasize that we have a chance.”

Life, regeneration and love are all waiting to be given voice.

Don’t Have a Happy New Year

A wandering merchant came to a town square offering to sell the elixir of life.  Of course, large crowds would surround him, each person eager to purchase eternal youth.  When pressed, the merchant would bring out the Book of Psalms and show them the verse: “Who desires life?  Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from guile.”

Rabbi Artson tells that tale as it demonstrates the greatest truth of life: what we do influences how we live.  On one plane, it is widely accepted that healthy eating produces a healthier lifestyle.  Yet, it is equally true that our outward behavior towards others crafts the inner image of our identity.

Show me a kind-hearted person, generous with deed and word, and I will show you a happy person.  The opposite is also true- a foul-mouthed, mean-spirited person will harbor a nasty cauldron of inner bitterness.

We control how we act and how we act controls how we construct our thoughts.

Rumi and so many other inspired poets speak of following your heart while our faith says the opposite, “Your heart will be drawn after your actions.”  In other words humans have the propensity to justify what we do, even when it is bad.  We merge into one being with what we say.  In stead, the Jewish attitude is to do mitzvot and your heart will follow.

We are headed into the season when the measure of our self is taken, both by God and us.  As we approach the end of the summer we see our reflection mirrored in the eyes of those with whom we interact.  When we see their disapproving glance we can fend off the negativity or be brave – as God would have it - and ask, “How did I create this?”  Equally so, watch for the look of love in another’s eyes and you will find joyful validation.

One man seeking wholeness went to see a mystic.  He yearned for healing.  Half starved, the mystic ordered the man to be fed and then had him repeat the viduy (confession), ashammnu, bgadnu, gazalmu etc- “we have sinned, we have betrayed, we have stolen…..”

In the course of repeating the list of sins he fainted.  When he came to the mystic sent him away ordering him to never again forget that some words are important as deeds, some words are actually deeds and some deeds take control of our self.  They and us become one.

Don’t have a happy New Year, make it a good one through your actions.