On the flight back from Chicago
(American Airlines!) some time ago the flight attendant announced, “Please
collect your garbage and someone will be coming around to collect it. Do not discard your empty soda cans. We will recycle them. Also, any unopened food packages please
return to the stewardess. We give them
to a food shelter.”
Wow.
Best flight I ever took. With all the pain America has endured these
past two months and the economic kick that all the airlines have received, this
was unexpected and welcome.
At the airport and on the aboard
airplane I had my photo checked three times; tickets checked four times,
endured tedious lines to get clearance for the plane. And everybody was happy. Passengers happily chatted with one
another. The flight attendants were
eager to assist and bright.
People have told me that it is
adversity. The reason why people are so
helpful and kind is because we are all suffering from the trauma of the World
Trade Center and then the anthrax scare.
That may be true. It would not be
the first time that fear has brought out the best in people. Our common enemy has caused countless
Americans to bravely wave their patriotism from their cars, houses, in the
streets. Acts of goodness abound because
we feel vulnerable.
°
The ancient ones used the two tales
to illustrate relationships; Amnon and Tamar and Jonathan and David. Amnon desired Tamar. Desperately he wanted her: Amnon dreamed of
being with Tamar day and night. He could
not get her out of his mind. After
relentlessly pursuing her in his heart, he forcibly took her. After the act, Amnon hated himself for what
he did and, subsequently, hated the woman he had defiled.
David and Jonathan, on the other
hand, had a love that developed from the soul.
They had no agenda, just love.
Love, the Sages tell us, can be based on getting a desired outcome, i.e.
the status that comes with keeping company of influentials; or it can be based
on the feelings of the heart. If we ‘love’
someone to a desired outcome (read: Amnon) the relationship will eventually
fail. Only genuine love will be strong
enough to survive tumultuous times.
Perhaps Americans are banding
together because we need one another.
That is a conditional love.
Mutual fear of the terrorists has caused Americans to join hands in
song. We have marched miles with candles
forging a blazing trail of light snaking through the blank nights on the
streets of America. Children have stood
proudly with their parents once again, bearing placards that read “Honk for
America!” For those who grew up in the
Vietnam era, this is the United States’ proudest moment. For older generations this time is a vivid
reminder of the gathering of the American psyche during the Second World War.
So what happens next? Back to angry fingers and curses directed at
cars moving too slow along route 9? A
return to the disconnected, unconcerned society? Amnon and Tamar? Or Jonathan and David? In fact, what is really the underlying
difference between them? Is it just that
one wants something from the other? Are
all such relationships doomed from the outset?
If that is so, why do anyone a favor unless we are absolutely
altruistic?
There is an old argument in the
Talmud about motivation. It goes
something like this: Mitzvot should be done for the sake of love of God. What then if a person does the mitzvah out
fear instead of love? Does that cheapen
the deed? Is this kind of mitzvah
inferior in God’s eyes? Better,
concludes the Talmud, that the mitzvah be done for the wrong reason. If it is done often enough, perhaps it will
eventually be done for the right reason.
Did you know there is a brakha
(blessing) to be said when you see someone with a different appearance? In the past such people were placed in
circuses and had pages reserved for them in Guinness books. The Jewish response is totally
different. We are supposed to say
“Barukh Ata…Mishaneh haBriot,” Blessed
is the Lord God, Master of the Universe, who has made such diversity among His
creations.”
In other words, the weak and strong,
tall and short, well-built and handicapped are all made in the image of
God. They are all as holy as one
another. Every one is utterly precious
and irreplaceable. Perhaps if we were to
say this brakha each time we would see someone different it would drive home
the necessary point treating others with disrespect gives us the ultimate
disfigurement. Saying such a blessing is
a learning tool to make us more refined, better human beings.
Perhaps we can say the same for the
full love which embraces America.
Practiced long enough it could become part of our fiber. The same goes for us as individuals: give
love for the wrong reason long enough and it will eventually turn out to be for
the right reason.
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