Future Shock

Not so very long ago famed author J.K. Rowling was asked to address recent college graduates. It was a moving talk. Having eagerly devoured her many Harry Potter books, the students were anxious to hear what advice this successful writer had to offer. What Rowling chose to speak about was failure. Rowling explained that her parents urged her early on to pursue a vocational degree. In having a trade, they believed their daughter would never experience the poverty they had endured. But she had other ideas. This is what the famous author had to say:

"What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.
Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be … without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.
Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. 
So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me…I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had and old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
You might never fail on the scale that I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default. Failure taught me things about myself I could have learned no other way."
Rowling’s advice is priceless. It cuts through humanity because the fear of not succeeding keeps the best of us stuck in our rocking chair.
During Sukkot there is a special prayer that we say during the Grace After Meals, "May the Merciful One (HaRachaman) restore the fallen Sukkah of David." Can God really repair the two-thousand-plus year old lean-to? No, say the great Sages of the Talmud. In that prayer we are asking God to restore to the people confidence. We want to be able to transform our painful past into a better future. In other words, the prayer wants us to build better "us" from the ashes of our failures. The pathway to wholeness happens when we overcome the internal hurdles that hold us back.
I am a professional bumper-sticker reader. One that struck me recently read, "What if you had no fear? What could you accomplish?" 
I mulled that question over in my mind for a very long time. What, indeed, could life offer if I was unafraid of failure? What mountains would come into reach? So many times, the fear of crashing keeps us from trying new things, having new experiences, finding our hidden strengths.
There is a novel web-site that has visitors writing letters to themselves in the future. Called FutureMe.org, people from all over the world write letters to themselves. The messages invariably contain a single element that remains a constant: the writers hope they can get over their pain. 
The creator of FutureMe.org sees this site as an attempt "at forward narrative, a poignant, maybe desperate, assertion of personal continuity over time. … More deeply, such a message implicitly accepts a duty to future generations. … Future me may reject present me’s choices, but my message … is, in its way, an attempt to acknowledge responsibility rather than evade it. Globe and Mail, April 28/07
People are deeply concerned that they will not survive the pain they are living through now. Here is one entry dated October 27, 2005, Dear FutureMe, How are you now? you happy? did you find your "next big thing"? work ok? did dad survive the transplant? 

Unlike the usual conventional wisdom, "failure is an option" is closer to the truth than it not being an option. In fact, failure is how we learn. The greatest challenge for us to be unafraid of non-success. Think of what is possible, as the bumper sticker read, if we allow ourselves to fully test the limits of our abilities. And if we fail? We have learned our limitations and will have grown in the process. And towering above us is the Lord God who urges us to test the limitations of what is possible and grow to become what He has envisioned for us.

Jewish History

Professor Simon Rawidowitz scanned the pages of Jews history and noted that there was no generation that did not fret over the demise of Judaism.  Every time, each era, deals with its own issues and then wrings its hands over what might be lost.

In the years following the Hurban, the destruction of the First Temple, circa 70 c.e., the leading rabbis agonized over the death of the Judaism that they knew.  The last Mishna in the tractate of Sotah (Talmud) records the demise of the best, most erudite students; the expounders of Torah that would witness the termination of the glory of Israel.  Even Maimonides in the Middle Ages bemoaned that the Torah was no longer being studied and practiced in the distant Ashkenazic lands.

On the one hand, they were wrong.  Judaism did not wither and die; it survived each time its demise was predicted.  Even genocide did not halt our progress or deter us from our mission. 

On the other hand, each generation was the last.  Traditions changed.  Customs were added of deleted.  Ideas were lost in the long marches of exile.  In a sense, with each catastrophe came a recreation of our existence.  It was a rebirth.

The recent past decades of American Jewish life has seen an atrophy of Jewish connection through it observances.  Our families and leaders have watched the decline of synagogue affiliation and practice.  All the while, the rabbinate and laity continue to counterbalance this phenomenon by creating new programs.  Novel ideas and approaches continue to crop up all over America.  It is exciting to witness these new idea touching millions of lives.

Here is what you can do: this summer do something Jewish.  Send you child or grandchild to a Jewish camp like Ramah.  Give them an experience to cherish and treasure always.  Honestly, they get their fill of secularism during the year.  Give them the gift, which will continue to pay dividends for decades.  If they are older, a trip to Israel can spiritually nourish them more than all else.  When you are done with them take a spiritual holiday yourself.  There are Jewish getaways for grown-ups including to Israel.

Staying around?  God does not go on holiday.  The Shul is always open.

Grow.  Become what you are.

 

Living in the Now

The only thing more frightening than the past is the future.  Moving forward into uncertainty takes great courage.

Not long ago I came across maps from the sixteenth century.  Off the shores of unknown continents were written statements like, “Here are the dragons,” or “Here be the demons that devour men.”

People of that era were terrified to venture beyond the borders of the known.  Better to stay home than risk the nightmares lurking in the dark beyond.  The unknown is always scary.  That is why children imagine demons and dreadful creatures in shadowy basements and closets.  We are no different.

No one has yet ventured into tomorrow but we will all be there in twenty-four hours.  Today we churn over the imagined dragons that will be encountered.  And, paradoxically, we will wake on the next day saddened that the time has passed. 

It is the same sort of feeling we have when relatives stay with us for extended periods.  We agonize before they arrive and mourn when they are gone.

That is why living in the meantime is worthy goal.

Living in the Future

Here is a parable for our lives:

A family climbs aboard a train.  They have no car, no place to call home either.  Each member carries his own suitcase.  The parents have their heavy suitcases full of a lifetime’s accumulations.  The children bear only small packages.

The little ones have a future.  And that future is worth all the massive suitcases in the world.

Yet, in both instances grip our suitcases as if they are the only things in the world.  We live in the present rocketing toward some determined destination.  We bought the ticket, boarded the train, packed our valuables and believe we have taken all the necessary steps for taking charge of our destiny.  But that is far from the truth.  After many years of life we ultimately conclude that we have little power to control our future.

The late Carl Sagan once explained the difference between an astronomer and an astrologer: “An astronomer can predict precisely where every star will be at 11:30 on any given night, but cannot say the same for his teenage daughter. For that, you need an astrologer!”

We all have dreams, visions and extensive plans for the future.   Retirement accounts and insurance are a hedge against our well-devised plans.   And still the unforeseen happens.  Throughout the ages people have turned to divination, necromancy, enchantments, horoscopes, I ching, and cryptic biblical passages that they believe will open the gates of what-will-come.“  Indeed, he does not know what is to happen,” declares King Solomon, “even when it is on the point of happening, who can tell him?” 

In the Talmud, the sage Rabbi Yochanan taught: “Since the Temple was destroyed, prophecy has been taken from prophets and given to fools and children.”  Rabbi Yochanan was warning us against placing faith in our articulately designed plans.  Indeed, countless horrors have been committed throughout history because nations and religions refused to conform their beliefs to reality. Instead they sought to make reality conform to their beliefs, which resulted in terrible events (thank God there were no catastrophes because of the Mayan calendar last year).

Again the wise Solomon advises, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.”

Do not live your life trying to peer behind impenetrable curtains.

Seek joy.  Live each day.

Worry?

The seventeenth century philosopher, Baruch Spinoza thought of worry is “an inconstant pain” arising from the thought that something bad might happen in the future.  For Spinoza, worry is essentially future oriented.  Even if our focus of worry is about something that happened in the past, it is only in relation to how it will affect our future.  - Rabbi Gregory S. Marx

So what does this mean?  That we spend invaluable, irreplaceable time agonizing over what only  might come to pass?

Where Past Intersects with Future

“Bring us back to Your Torah, our Father, and draw us near.”

These words are in our Shabbat prayers.  They hearken back to the place where we came from, our roots, our point of origin.  We cannot be present, much less envision a future, without a firm grip on our past.  That is why we plead for a return to where we came from.

William Faulkner wrote, “The past is not dead.  It isn’t even past.”  The vibrancy of life resounds in the chords played throughout our history.  They must not be dismissed for they live within us.  They sing to our soul.  The chords are present in every milestone - Hanukkah, Purim, Pesach, memorials….  To ignore these notes is to miss the symphony of life.

Perhaps this is what brings us all to our present. We recognize the truth of remaining faithful to our heritage, our past.  It is the solid bridge that connects to where we stand today.  Tradition is who we are and the key to our future.

One great rabbi wrote about our strivings at the dawn of one Rosh Hashanna, “He returns to his starting point, to where he stood….”  It is always this way.  The path forward wends back and the way back leads to the path forward.

May we realize more wonder from our history, reap joy from this grand moment, and sow seeds of continuity in our families.

Thinking About Past and Future

As Jews, we have marked time with both the moon and the sun reminding us of the passage of the seasons.  Time is important.  For example, nobody ever knew exactly how grandpa was.  He ran from Czarist Russia and certain death when he was just fourteen.  Unfortunately, many things were left behind in the old country, including his age.  We never learned grandpa’s birthday either.  We tried to figure it out after he died, but it was all guesswork.

Age and dates are important.  That is why we continually look back into time to trace the roots of our present.  The only gauge of time that goes back beyond human record-keeping is the Bible.  Scholars investigating genealogies of matriarchs, patriarchs; of wars and treaties, prophets and saints have read back into time the present age of the world.  They read all the “begots” with a measured eye.  According to their estimate, the world is now five thousand seven hundred seventy odd years old.

The date of the birth of the world this year falls on September 5, 2013.  That date comes to us from all the years of the lives of the ancient ones along with the passage of the marked epochs of time. 

Why are birth dates important?  It celebrates an arrival.  Your birthday is important because you entered the world on this day.  All the gifts that you have brought would not have happened without you.  That is the reason for the cake, candles, and song.  We are wanted and needed.  We are unique and indispensable.

All birthdays are also the occasion of re-assessments of self and being.  We consider who we are, what we have become and where we have veered off the path of further self revelation.  Birthdays are a time of renewal.

September 5th is important as it celebrates both a beginning and renewal.  We wish the world a better future.  We have abused it far too much with deforestation, pollution, lack of concern for life-forms that are dependent upon us, an absence of love.  We have uprooted without planting.  We have disemboweled the earth without replenishing it.  We have savaged all but the heartiest of animals and plants. 

At the same time, this yearly Rosh Hashanna is a call for renewal for inter-personal changes.  It does little good to treat the dog well, while we abuse people.  Remember: all people are as unique and as gifted as you.  Every person carries a blessing that they alone can give.  For the Jewish tradition it is said that any person can be the emissary of God, the Mashiah.  The pauper on the street, a child’s face, your girlfriend, your father, or spouse may be the chosen.  Since we do not know who the hidden emissary may be we must treat everyone as if they are the One.

From the entire Jewish community, may this New Year be a time of renewal of hope and determined love.  May you be blessed.  May you be the blessing, in 5774.