Thoughts are Real

 Why does the Torah tell us that after giving birth, a mother must bring a sin offering?

Rabbi Simon bar Yohai answers, "Since she may have cried out in the midst of her birthing pains, "I will never again let my husband come near me."
For such a thought, the Torah requires that a sin offering be brought.
Two ideas emerge from this passage. The first is that people are prone to say regrettable things. We will cry out in the depth or pain despair uttering curses or vows that, given a moment of rational thought, we would never say. The second notion is that even though all humanity may succumb to such wrong and excessive language; we are not excused from what comes from our mouths. We are always held responsible for what we say.
 
The Mishna in Pirkay Avot states, “Know what is above from you. An eye that sees, an ear that hears, and all of your deeds are recorded in a book! (2:1)

Birth

Many years ago, I wrote some thoughts after the birth of my firstborn:
England, 1940 -  all street signs and directions markers were removed from all places where could be seen and used by the Nazis in case of a land invasion.

Soon afterward the signs were all restored.  But during the time when they were gone, Yanks in the country were constantly getting lost.

How often do we lose our direction?

How simple it is to lose our way…

We can easily wander off, thinking we are in the correct lane when it is not so….

Every now and again we need a sign, a marker, something to make us aware of where we are and where we are headed.

Every now and then they are provided on the roadside as a guidepost to indicate where we are and how we need to adjust our trajectory preventing us from getting lost.

Sometimes we do not see the signs but they are there.

Just because we do not see the 55-mile per hour sign doesn’t indicate that it does not exist.

I just saw a road sign, a marker that was deliberate, strongly impacting my life.

For me, my firstborn child is such a radical sign on the map of my life.

Frankly, after witnessing his birth it is almost easier to believe in the fantasy of a stork delivering a baby!  It was such an amazing miracle that it seems more plausible to think of an outrageous, fantastic event than what really happened- the stork rather than a natural event of the human body.  It was TOO BEYOND BELIEF!

I experienced not just joy but radical wonder!

I can give no explanation, no words can suffice…

To speak of DNA or the multiplication of cells, the formation of organs is all meaningless when staring at the result, this new life!  Perfect.

The whole event was tremendously emotionally draining.  From t he extreme pain which made my insides bunch up like a tightly wound spring, the absolute height of pain, a searing agony, brought an unnamable terror to my soul to then miraculously suddenly see his new life emerge into the world.

From one emotional extreme to the other

From the lowest ebb of the highest pinnacle of life all within five minutes!

Talk about playing havoc with one’s emotional state.

So comes this little life into the world:

Legs flying,

Arms flailing,

Lungs gasping for its first breath,

Launched into my world with a yelping cry, “I am here!”

I will never forget the welling up of tears that flooded my eyesight to see this new baby.

From some deep place came an overwhelming sense of utter joy, a wild uncontrollable burst of emotion that opened up inside (I was not aware) and a miracle happened.

It is hard to believe that so many millions experience this miracle of birth.

Something so mundane, pedestrian, an everyday occurrence could be so incredible.

After all, births happen all the time, everywhere, for eternity and yet

Certainly we have all been on the delivery end if not the receiving end-

So many births throughout time and yet every one is miraculous.  Every one is unbelievable.  Every one is a sign.

I cannot confess to having doubts about God.

But after this experience I now wonder if God may have His doubts about me.

One thing is for sure: God has given me a signpost.  He has shown me what a miracle is.