Perspective

Change is difficult.

It is hard to break patterns of behavior.

If you are used to complaining about how life has short-changed you, turning that mind-set around to an appreciation of what you have seems impossible. We all know people like that; folks who continually complain about how life has beaten them down.  Nothing about them seems joyful.  It is hard to be around people like that. They seem to suck the happiness out of the room until it is hard to breathe.  

Question to ponder: Do we feel better or worse when we share life’s disappointments with others?

It is axiomatic in our culture that sharing life’s woes is part of the healing process. We are encouraged to sit with therapists and articulate our inner pain, speak about our psychic injuries – real or imagined to feel better.  Does this improve our sense of well-being, or does it merely feed into our feelings of inadequacy?  Of course, we all know that being able to share our inner pain is a part of the pathway to healing but it is not the panacea to relieve our souls of the burden they carry.  It is only a first step.

A man with a negative disposition was operated on for gallstones.  One day the doctor met the spouse on the street.  She seemed worried.

“What troubles you?” the doctor asked.  “The operation was successful.”

“For me hardly,” came the reply.  “The stones are gone but the gall remains.”

Excising negativity is a complex matter.

Yes, it starts with accessing it, acknowledging the source of the pain, but then must move to the next step of resolution.

The wisdom of our faith has each day start with foundational statements of affirmation.  We start with Modeh ani “Thank You for restoring my soul…” progressing to gratitude for the gift of ridding the body of toxins, before acknowledging sentience, eyesight, movement…. What is the purpose of these daily blessings?  To be sure we are relating to our Maker.  Further, we are accessing what is most positive about our life.

Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote, “Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement…to get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted.  Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually.”

Is this too difficult to imagine?  

Find what troubles you then seek the anodyne for that pain.  If you feel isolated, craft the affirmation that makes you less alone.  If you sense that you are less privileged than others, affirm what is right and present in your life.  Once you know what you need, what remains is to find the inner healing that only you know can make you whole.

The Talmud teaches, Mishaneh makom meshaneh mazel, "When you move, you change your future."  

Real change comes when we adjust our vision of our life.  It does not take a herculean effort, just readjusting the way we see ourselves.  A small move can bring about significant change and offers unimagined opportunities.  Be unafraid. 

Actually, I overstated the problem above.  Change is not difficult unless we stand in our own way.

Idea: Begin the day with your needful affirmations and if you do not know where to begin there is no better place than the opening passages of the siddur said upon awakening.