The Secret to God

He came to me with a complaint.  His face was open and needy.  “I want to be spiritual but do not know how.  I really want to learn.  Teach me!  I watch you daven and I know you are talking to God.  I see it in your face.  I want that too.  How do I get there?"

Rebbe Nachman knew.  Long ago he said, “When I speak with someone I want to hear the highest words from his mouth.”

When someone would speak to him Rebbe Nachman would intensely listen to each uttered word.  They were intentional.  Nachman knew that in each dialogue there were hidden gems that had the potential of changing his life.  Imagine such a thought! 

It was not what the person said but what Rebbe Nachman heard that made the ultimate difference.  Every word contained the kernels of personal revelation.  His sole task was to listen.

“This,” I said to my complainant, “is the principle of true davenning.  It is all about listening, being awake and aware and, of course, truthful with our words.”

The words we hear and the ones we speak can have a dramatic effect on us spiritually.  If we are looking for voices of growth and learning they will appear almost everywhere.

This is the primary principle of davenning: Listen.  Take the words to hear.  Utter each word with intentionality (kavannah).  This is the whole secret to becoming a spiritual being.

Brotherly Hate

As brothers and sisters we are related.  From the same stock, same gene pool.  Seems like forever since we last lived peaceably under the same roof.  God, so much wasted time!

  Long ago, there was the proverbial parting of the ways.  You went in pursuit of your mission; I went on with mine.  Like all siblings there was rivalry, competition.  We fought for parental favor. We sought to impress them with our savvy, our looks, and our prosperity.  

Hurt and pain sprang from unhealed wounds.  Some of those wounds, untended, festered and became dangerous.  We fought like all relatives and, just like them, soon forgot what we were feuding about.  Seems that often the fight itself became the reason for continuance of the rivalry.

There are those who say the familial “parting of the ways” is as old as Cain and Abel.  Certainly the root of brothers vying for the love of their parents is as ancient as Eden.  We are no different.

It has been my hope that time would bring maturity to us and the realization that siblings can not just love one another (we already do) but allow for legitimacy of the other.  I can validate your goodness, brilliance and gifts while losing none of my own stature.  You can return that appreciation.  It is odd that we “love our neighbor” more when they don’t live in our neighborhood.  But we have lived long together.  And hated every minute of it.  There is no escaping that.

“Ah,” you say, “those days are long gone.”  Yes, you are right, brother.  They seem all but a dim memory now.  We have found each other’s arms after a long estrangement.  There has not just been rapprochement but something far deeper, more meaningful.  We are in process of re-discovering the family love so long absent.  Mom and dad would be proud.  Perhaps they smile down on us from above as their children have found one another.

Still, every now and again it is good to remember the old rivalry.  This allows us to bask in the realization that those days are gone.  We can dialogue, break bread with one another, find words of shared worship, and even gently chide each other.  We have grown.  We have fully matured and now enjoy a rich relationship bearing more gifts than we could ever imagine.

I am sorry that every now and again someone forgets the great progress we have made.  I guess they feel more comfortable in a contest of words and legitimacy (‘I’m better than you are’ kind of stuff) than a road to greater love.  I will not let those family members stand in our way, though.  And neither will you.  After all, what we have discovered is the most valuable gift of all.

Where is our Martin Luther King?

The vigils were about remembering the promise, the dream and the redemption.  The convocations recalled the inner might and severe determination of a single man who braved the raw face of evil for the sake of freedom.  His words still resonate across the decades as children are taught the history of hate and learn of the exhilaration of real societal change.  In his dream, Martin Luther King articulated the vision of a landscape of equality across the nation.

He was a non-violent fighter.  Unlike the pugilists of the Tyson ilk that fight for the sake of boundless anger, King was relentless in waging a war against a monolithic America from which he was excluded.  I think the reason why his speeches still move us is because of their immediate and justified rage.  We look at the colorless pictures of a King raising his hands in a fury of recrimination and challenge: We recognize the burning words of urgency that rise in a timber and pitch.  The dream reaches into us because it fills a yawning answered hunger and call within.

At the MLK breakfast  many children voiced their pride in writing.  They were responding to the question of ‘What would you tell Martin Luther King if he were alive today?’  Some said thank you; others asked what it was like in heaven.  Their answers set my mind to thinking; what would he say?  What would King be doing if he were alive today?  Would he embrace the changes he fought so hard for?  Would he retire in quiet dignity to some small southern town knowing the great good he had accomplished?

What moves America about King is that he spoke to us all regardless of the way we look, or the language that we speak, or our choice of worship.  His words reached across chasms of distrust.  They confirmed what only a few were willing to acknowledge: the gift of freedom is not given, it is earned.  We still need him.

Presumptuous it might be to speak for him, I believe that the nearly mythic giant King would strike out in anger that we have become so smug, so complacent in a world filled with horror.  His voice would rise to near feverous pitch with the searing pain of our time.  It is utterly unfathomable that in this world there are places where slavery is still practiced.  People are ripped from their homes and so degraded that can be bought, sold, abused with no thought of morality.  In such a world we have not moved forward from the base and ugly discrimination of the past.  We have regressed.  Would King be proud?  I do not think so.

Just returning from a convention of colleagues, we voiced our outrage at a silent and indifferent universe.  Resolutions were passed and words were spoken detailing the brutality of Nepal, Sudan, the United Arab Emirates.  Children and women are forcibly taken, then bought and sold, traded, used.  Just last year, five children were taken and sold as camel jockeys in the United Arab Emirates.  Thankfully, in this instance, the children were rescued.  But how many are not?  

There is no shouting.  No demonstrations.  There are few articles in the papers which carry the personal stories of the afflicted.   Where are the Martin Luther Kings of today?  Where are the fighters who wage the assault of the biggest travesty of all?  I am straining to hear them.  Yet, all I hear is silence.  We need them now, even one would be enough.

We need a King to rouse us from indifference.  We need a King to appeal to what we already know as fact and truth.  We need to hear the unsettling voice tell us that all is not right at home.  For as long as this misery and evil continues there can be no peace, no absolute security that freedom has been achieved.  The fight must continue.

I do not believe that Martin Luther King would be at ease.  No quiescence at some retirement village in southern Florida.  He would be deeply troubled and moved to scream, to rage.  We need his moral indignation now.

What Should You Support?

Hypothetically.  Just say you have one or two million dollars to give away.  It was a good year and now it is time to give back; time to do some “tikkun,” improvement.  The first decision you need to make is how to best use such a goodly amount. After all, being a good entrepreneur with solid business skills, you know that giving money must also be solidly researched and well-thought.  So you begin to think of all the worthwhile charities you can donate the money to with an awareness that the money must make a real and significant difference for your people.  You want to give it to Jews. 

The next decision is how best to allocate the money; there are many worthwhile causes.  Among them are programs and activities for the infirmed.  The money could go a long way toward giving meaning to the elderly.  Israel is a possibility.  With years at war and ongoing economic as well as frontal assaults, such an infusion of cash would give much needed money along with an unspoken statement of support.  Youth programs are certainly worthwhile.  Recreational and sports activities for children.  So many things to choose!

You could even decide to divide the money up among the many willing and noble causes.  Why not give a little to each?  The only problem with that is that the greatest effect of the donation will not be met.  A single lasting contribution by you cannot be achieved when the money is thinned out among different agencies.  What do you do?

The one area so often overlooked when philanthropists seek ways to contribute to the welfare of the Jewish people is through the synagogue.  Odd, isn’t it?  In the past twenty years memorials and museums have been constructed to the memory of the Six Million in metropolises throughout the world.  Relying on deep pockets these buildings rise on significant gifts and bequests.  Massive JCCs have been built in virtually every city through the nation costing many millions of dollars.   At the same time, most religious institutions continue to exist on a shoe-string budget.  They barely balance their meager balance sheets.  And yet synagogues are the most meaningful contributors to Jewish survival! 

The fact that there are philanthropists at all that still remember they are Jewish is because of the shuls they were brought up in.  They never forgot the lessons of cheder (religious school).  Their teachers were insistent that tzedaka is humanity’s redemption.   Ingrained in their memory are sitting at shul and crying to God.  They will never forget the serious learning the long impassioned discussions about tzedaka and justice.  Wrapped in a tallit, benching licht (candle lighting), full emotional outpouring of the soul are all memories which inform the present.

It is usual too see sprawling hospitals in large metropolitan areas named for Jewish contributors.  The same is true of our universities.  A few years back in 2002 a very rich billionaire philanthropist died.  Creator of the famous TV Guide and Seventeen magazines Walter Annenbery was also a powerful voice in politics.  He donated millions to museums and institutions of learning including the Annenberg Schools of Communication.  One of his many legacies is the Annenberg Foundation which gives away grants and affords opportunities for many people throughout our country.    Training programs, educational media, theatres, hospitals, communications and so much more were left by Walter Annenberg.  The name will be familiar if you watch PBS.  Little was given to Jewish causes.  Nothing at all that I am aware of was given to Synagogues.  Why?

The same question can be leveled at many Jewish do-gooders.  Why do they ignore the fountain which feeds all the tributaries  If it were to dry up, rest assured the balance of the Jewish landscape would wither in its wake.  The Day Schools are in a similar quandary.  While they nurture the youngest shoots of the flower they receive scant attention from big donors.  Millions are given to create a chair at a university which does nothing to foster Jewish identity while rabbis and principals go about with their hands out.

Another oddity: all the afore mentioned buildings and programs will eventually fall away.  As proven through the epochs the only remaining feature of Jewish life are shuls and their educational appendages.  Need proof?  Think of the last time you traveled.  What noteworthy Jewish sites remain for more than a century?  Almost without exception they are synagogues.  What happened to the rest of their communal activities and structures?  We do not know.  They did not survive.

So why do the moneyed forget the place where the future is to be written?  I do not know.  But if anyone has an answer I would love to hear it.