Thursday, December 10, 2020

Listen More

In heder (now called “Hebrew School”) the rabbi visited various classes.  The teacher wanting to please the head rabbi posed a simple question to one of the students.

“Shmuel, who wrote Psalms?”

Shmuel was very agitated and blurted out, “Teacher, I didn’t do it!”

The rabbi, sensing the boy’s angst said to the teacher,  “Why did you pick on that poor boy?”

The teacher, also a nervous wreck, answered, “I know he would not do such a thing.  I know his parents very well and they are respectable people.”

 

Sometimes it seems like we speak different languages.  We talk across one another, without really listening. Much the same has been mirrored by political leaders, the media and parroted by the public.  The pandemic has made life difficult but the attitudes of not listening and validating one another exacerbates the tension that is felt across America, perhaps the whole world.

 

Over the past few years we have seen and heard much screaming at and about one another; labeling others as inferior, not as smart or intellectually handicapped; refusing to hear the other… Arguing over who is right is most often inconsequential.  Ask yourself: How often have you changed someone’s mind because of your position and argument?  Not often is my guess and experience.

 

Yet we seem to not want to learn the lesson that life has tried to teach us time and again.  That is not to say we should remain silent when a wrong is being committed but most times we grow red in the face over opinions over who you voted for, support or issues of belief.

 

During these long months of insecurity with the pandemic raging we have all witnessed the fighting over diminishing crumbs of what we believe to be right and wrong. In the final analysis, those words will have no lasting positive impact.  That is not to say it will not have an impact, it just may not be a good one.

 

A person who tries to trust in God while leaving himself a backup plan is like a person who tries to learn how to swim but insists on keeping one foot on the ground.  –Rabbi Yosef Yozel Hurwitz

 

I often refer back to the famous words of King Solomon who, when conflicted by opposing ideas, uttered, “This too shall pass.” And so it has.  And so it will.  Just as surely as you are evidence of God’s providence so will the future be steered by something more powerful than us.

 

Children forever want to grow up so they can be independent and espouse and express their own ideas.  Closer to reality is that we all are still children in need to growing up, knowing that each person carries his or her own truth and we are not likely to change their mind.

 

Consider.  Many people want to know what the Talmud is.  It is the search for equality and balance that can only be achieved when we listen and respect one another.  It deals with such mundane subjects as lost objects, rental agreements, damages, speech, life cycle milestones and oaths.  The goal of the sixty tomes is hearing all sides of each issue.  That does not mean there is always agreement (in fact the opposite is closer to the truth) but it does demand listening and respecting.  

 

That is not difficult is it?   Yes, it is.  It is arduous to sublimate our yetser ha-ra, our egotistical sense of entitlement, and give others space to be heard, validated and witnessed.

 

If we have learned anything from these past months I hope that it is that we have gained a vital lesson about growing morally and spiritually by speaking and demanding less and listening and understanding more.

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