Witholding

 "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." -Winston Churchill

Think once, then twice.  Only then speak.

Speaking to God

"Do you know who can protest against His

decree and say to Him, ‘Why do you do such a thing?’‛ 

He who observes the commandments’‛  -Numbers Rabbah 14:6.

In a sacred relationship, we can ask questions forbidden to those who stand outside.

Yizkor

 Yizkor means “May He remember.”

G-d will always consider us.  What we ask for is not so much that G-d remember their lives but that the memory of those we loved will not be forgotten by us.

Another name for yizkor is hazkarat neshamot, recalling souls.

We recite Yizkor because we refuse to forget.  But what we recall is a choice.  We can opt to focus on their many talents and triumphs, or their deficits and defeats.  I hope that we will choose to elevate their memory and ask that they find their way into the Olam shel Emet, the universe where forgiveness reigns and the struggles of mortality are lifted. 

 

Perhaps they will even hear our prayers and be comforted that we have neither forgotten nor neglected them.

 

In reciting Yizkor we are starkly confronted with our own brief lifespan.  As we remember them, we pray that we too will be recalled with fondness.

 

We now stand at the threshold of a New Year and fervently pray that we find the blessings in our past and emerge into 5786 to become a blessing to ourselves, others and those who come after us.

 

L’Shanah Tovah Tikateyvu

Prayer for Healing

 Ana, HaShem, Please G-d, You are the Healer of all flesh.  Look upon me and have pity.  Support me in Your great love for I need You.  Send healing to me and to all Your children who suffer.  Heal my pain and renew me as in the past.  Grant wisdom to the physicians that attend me so that they may bring to me healing, swiftly.  

Hear my prayer, prolong my life and allow me to live out my years in joy so that I may be better able to serve You and keep Your word with a perfect heart.

Grant me understanding to see how this time of trial can bring me to a place of discernment and more meaningful life. Do not reject You servant, I pray.  

Hear my prayer.

The Tale

Never once did she question the loss of her husband and son.  No one heard her mention even one, “Why me?”  There was simply too much to do.  After the initial shock, there were burial plans, sending notices out to all the relatives, friends and associates.  The non-stop messages from her phone and people stopping by to drop off food and murmur words of consolation.  

The services required her full attention.  She dutifully wrote and delivered eulogies, wiping away the tears as she spoke.   The last shovel of earth did not conclude the process, it was barely the beginning.  When all that ended, there was a house to clean and a million emails and cards to answer.  It was an immense task, but she hammered away at it day after day. 

When her hands became too cramped from writing thank-you’s, there were endless bills to pay, finding all the right papers, filing them with the insurance, the lawyer and then the court.  

Of course there were the same questions, “Did you know?”  “How did it happen?”  “Were there signs?”  And the rest.  She responded to them all with the same lines that after a short while came out mechanically.  “Yes, this is terrible.  There was no warning, no signs.  Thanks for coming.  It means a lot.”

She was stalwart and determined to get everything done correctly.  So it went for months on end.

Through it all, she never threw her fists up to heaven or cursed God.  She remained silent. Unlike Job, she turned her back on faith and never looked back. 

Why should she?  They lied to her.  All of them; her teachers, faith leaders, her parents, everyone.  There was no justice in these needless deaths.  Stripped of her companion and child she could only retreat into non-belief.  If there was a God, he was heartless and cruel.  Since that left a malevolent universe the only other choice was to abandon faith.

 

Such is the story of many who have through neglect or deliberate thought have drifted from their anchor.  

What is the antidote for such a psychic unmooring?

Love.  Even if it hurts.

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